Navigating Gratitude During Hardship

Finding Blessings in the Midst of a Health Crisis

In February, after a routine colonoscopy, I was informed by my gastroenterologist that something was not normal. He suspected a tumor. The only way to verify this was by series of tests, a biopsy and a CT scan.

A week later I was diagnosed with cancer. The third such diagnosis in my life.

I am writing to you about my experience for a few reasons. First, I want everyone reading this to understand and appreciate the advancements in medical technology. To implore you all to proactively care for yourselves, get tested, commit to regular examinations.

Secondly, my hope is to encourage you by sharing my experience in dealing with life when the tables get turned over. Whatever the trial or threat you face, you are not alone.

As most of you will know, I am someone who has devoted her life to the mastery of hospitality. It took over 30 years to get there. I’ve built my own food services business from scratch. I’ve met and exceeded the lofty expectations in Hospitality and Food Services in one of the world’s top hospitals for seventeen years.

And yet, I was about to become a patient once again. Here I am, a “master” of hospitality, unable to do what I live to do – care for others. I am realizing, once again, this is when I need hospitality the most. I am the guest, not the host.

As upsetting as the prospect of surgery, hospitalization, pain, recovery and the discomforts of being unwell was, I was determined to discover new things about and around me; learn about how much medicine and technology has advanced.

Primarily, I was set on appreciating the true meaning of gratitude in a healthcare setting.

Gratitude can beat burnout and boost wellbeing. It’s literally “emotional first aid”! We experience gratitude “when we shift our focus from what we don’t have to what we do.”

And when you are faced with cancer, there are a lot of “don’t haves”! I didn’t have a choice whether to undergo surgery, nor where the surgery would take place. Back in the States I could have picked up the phone, and gotten one of the best surgeons available. But who did I know in Luxembourg in the medical field?

The prospect of being ill in Luxembourg felt overwhelming at times. I am in a new place where different languages are spoken. It is difficult enough trying to understand medical reports and blood pathology in English – but when they’re in French?! Je ne comprende pas!

“It is great to be faced with the impossible, for nothing is impossible if one is meant to do it. Wisdom will be given, and strength. When the Lord leads, He always strengthens.”

– Amy Carmichael

My first sense of gratitude came through the numerous “caregivers” who came alongside me. Whenever God provides strength, it is almost always through others.

Sharing my cancer diagnosis with my family and close friends in my current community was important to me. The importance to strengthen my support system and help me to navigate the emotional and physical challenges of my diagnosis was essential.

Our family is always ready to jump on a plane irrespective of the fact that my siblings and our extended family live on different continents!

My daughter, Sheena, the designated spokesperson, was immediately tasked to be the Chief Information Officer for the next six weeks. She dutifully kept everyone informed. My eldest daughter, Avisha, was the daily rock of support and encouragement.

I had surgery on the 24^th of February at Hôpital Robert Schuman-Luxembourg.

I am truly grateful for all the skilled, dedicated, and compassionate care givers of Hôpital Robert Schuman. The outstanding patient experience, offering hope in the face of a difficult diagnosis, sacrifices, generosity, and expertise - you all have my deepest gratitude. Even during the busiest time coupled with short staffing they went above and beyond, tirelessly towards a healthy outcome.

As I pen this, I am reminded of the annual “Doctors’ Day” celebration at Stanford Hospital. We would serve up a healthy and creative breakfast for three hundred physicians to show our appreciation for service excellence. It was one of the most cherished events at the hospital and attended by all hands involved.

I met Dr. Philippe Koppes, a specialist surgeon – more “scientist” than surgeon, if I am to be honest. He would respond to my every inquiry with a detailed explanation. He attentively humored me with teaching skills, and his wealth of basic pedagogic. Young, but brilliant and calming. We were told he was “the best.”

During our pre-op meeting, he crafted a diagram of a colon with a large piece of pie indicating the area and detailed parts that would need to be surgically removed for pathology, for final presentation to the Tumor Board. Truth be told, he was a much better surgeon, than artist.

Preparing for surgery is no easy task. From selecting your surgeon, scheduling, questions to ask pre-op, getting a second opinion, the days leading up to the operation, the day of surgical procedure, postoperative, ICU, infection control, pain management, resources and support for anticoagulant injections at home to reduce blood clot risk…the list is long. One must remain doggedly focused on the long term aim – complete healing.

Dr. Koppes certainly went out of his way to provide me with all the details, prescriptions, appointments as needed. This extra bit of attention eased my mind considerably.

For those of you who may have experienced a surgery before, you will certainly attest to the anxiety and stress that it creates. No matter how hard one may try to stay calm, there is always a degree of nervousness.

I had an early morning surgery scheduled, so I stayed in the hospital the prior night. It was a restless night, especially as my husband was not allowed to be with me until after my surgery. That meant waking by myself to get prepped for something I didn’t want to have to do, by myself.

Ironically, two events helped distract me, momentarily, from the anxiousness. First, my surgery was delayed, by an hour. Then another. Second, of the five languages spoken in the hospital, Luxembourgish, French, German, Portugese and English, none of the nurses on duty that morning spoke any English.

It happened to be a busy morning. But, when the nurses attempted to move me, I refused until someone could communicate with me that I was going to the right operating theatre, especially since we were running an hour late. I am aware that I may have upset a few people with my attitude, but I wanted to be cautious.

When I was eventually taken into the surgical setting, I had an opportunity to study the room. It was a cold room to minimize bacterial growth, there was a diathermy machine to control bleeding, sterile instruments on a stainless-steel table, a ventilator/breathing machine on standby at head of the operating table, operating room lamps allowing for brilliant illumination without shadows during surgery, operating table in the center of the room which can be raised lowered, tilted in any direction.

It was a multi-specialty operating room with state-of-the-art equipment. Otherwise known as a “clean room” with a controlled sterile environment that filters pollutants like dust, airborne microbes, and aerosol particles to provide the cleanest area possible, minimizing the risk of infections.

As I tend to do, I made mental notes while speaking to the young operating room nurse. She had the sweetest, most soothing voice, a bright smile and kept talking to me all whilst making me comfortable and most importantly, at ease. I had forgotten the ordeals of this morning.

She spoke to me about travel, buying my book, “Seva, The Art of Hospitality”, and reading it with me once I recovered.

She asked if I was cold and offered a “Bair Hugger Warming Blanket”. This amazing product is designed to help manage temperature, preventing hypothermia in different stages of surgery. It helps increase patient’s blood flow, which increases healing process.  It fascinated me and warmed me instantly!

The operating theatre began to fill up. My medial team included: surgeon, resident, anesthesiologist and assistant, operating room nurses and technical assistant, and scrub technician.

I knew I was in good hands seeing Dr. Koppes and being greeted by the anesthesiologist briefly with a warm smile before induction.

Needless to say, I do not recall the day spent in ICU recovery room. But I recall the sense of being in good hands. I was grateful for many things. That the tumor had been identified early. That my doctor and surgeon acted so quickly to arrange the procedure. And, that I had many people thinking of me and praying for me.

The words "hospital" and "hospitality" both have their root in the Latin word "hospes," which means "guest" or "host." While "hospital" is a place where people receive medical care, "hospitality" is a behavior or attitude of kindness and generosity towards guests and strangers. Both words, however, trace their roots back to the concept of hosting and receiving guests with care and concern.

Both words are an impression of the key words, care, and attention, of guests and patients who are welcomed at reception, invited to a room booked, and informed of services available. as anyone in the industry will attest, “soft skills” are most essential here.

Waking up in my private and scrupulously spotless and spacious room, I noted white bed and bath linens. A general color choice throughout the healthcare and hospitality sectors, a perspective of purity. A standard of professionalism like the color of the physicians’ coats.

Greeted by familiar loved faces (Sheena had flown out, Sean was wearing his loving smile), comforted me for the moment. I was informed that the surgery had taken over five hours and that everything looked good, pending the pathologist’s report to the “tumor board”, which would take a couple of weeks for completion due to the complexity.

It is interesting that the final determination of a cancerous tumor is left to a group of professionals and not to a single doctor. This ensures the efficacy of the decision, and allows for multiple perspectives.

I was determined to improve my stay, maintain a positive attitude, wear my hospitality ambassador smile, take part in rehabilitation sessions to avoid thrombosis, follow the diet rules, keep my journal and most of all practice genuine gratitude and get to know the caregivers, their names, and divisions. I was preparing to write a culminative note to all with a small gift of my appreciation for their care.

It was not easy - my mind unraveled the velocity of things coming at me. I developed a couple of different infections, and allergic reactions. The intravenous therapy needed to be administered for fluids and meds. More tests and blood work were ordered.

As humans we are most vulnerable when we are sick and weak. We have an intrinsic need for dignity as a basic element of well-being.

“True Hospitality is marked by an open response, to the dignity of each and every person.”

– CS Lewis

The concept of dignity is closely linked to the belief that humans are created in the image of God. In this regard, dignity highlights the unique worth and value of every human being and calls for treating every person with respect, compassion, and fairness they deserve.

In a hospital setting, dignity is paramount. Informing patients of the facts about their illness. Effectively respecting privacy and honoring the rights of those who are often at the mercy of their caregiver. It is about being treated with care and compassion. Including the provision of nourishing food to help patients sustain good health.

The Head Dietician, Brigitte, a well-travelled food connoisseur, paid me a visit a couple of times during my hospital stay. She was a welcome visitor and did a stellar job educating me on the benefits of the Low Residue Diet and how to manage it. LRD was prescribed for me out of the ten or twelve diets currently exercised. We were on the same page and had a great rapport.

Look out for some of our food bites in the upcoming articles.

While a patient at Stanford during my previous surgeries, I had the privilege to develop my soup recipe and share it with chef prior to my surgery. Enjoying a nourishing meal was completely satisfying and healing. Stanford’s Department of Hospitality decided to run the soup on the menu once approved by Dietetics.

A clinical dietician is an expert in identifying and translating the science of nutrition into everyday information about food, advising on nutrition choices. Dieticians apply the science of human nutrition to help people understand the relationship between food and health.

Food plays an important role and acts as medicine in healing well, especially after surgery. Protein is most essential to wound healing.

I had received a prep list from my surgeon prior to the operation. I knew I would need to consume a clean broth, perhaps a couple of different flavors. I was not allowed to consume fruit, vegetables, nuts, juices, and yogurt. I must admit it was a bit of a challenge especially since I am a vegetarian/sometimes flexitarian and pescetarian and until recently plant-forward!

Food was yet again proving to be another item on the growing list of “don’t haves”. Although there was plenty of reason to get down about the lack of options, I determined to use my know-how, and the dietician’s guidance, to build a nutrition plan.

I quickly divided into practicing mindful cooking, developing a couple of recipes for clean broths. I was armed with enough in my freezer to come home to and then continued to curate with my sister, Meenu, who flew out from Hong Kong for a couple of weeks to assist my husband in caring for me.

In total, my hospital stay lasted 12 days. My visits with therapists, urologists, pathologists, and dieticians came to an end. I had a nurse come in daily at home for injections for a couple of weeks.

Within a few weeks of my return home, the final report from the pathologist to the hospital Tumor Board arrived. It confirmed the impressive and detailed work by Dr. Koppes. We are happy to take a deep breath for now and begin the oncologic process in June.

After about eight weeks of rest and recovery, my strength has returned. I am grateful for an upcoming wellness getaway in the coming week.

Healthcare industry is being reshaped by the hospitality industry. That service-oriented culture to improve the patient experience and maximize the patient experience. I would much rather be the “host”, than a “guest”; but I saw how my own field of work influences those who care for the sick.

Life with and after cancer is not easy. It’s not pretty and it’s definitely more brutal for some than for others. But there is a lot of hope in how we can live in a meaningful way despite a diagnosis.

My heart is full of gratitude even though some days are harder than others. The joy of my family and friends is bigger than any diagnosis. And the joy of the Lord is my strength.

When we re-focus on our “haves” rather than our “don’t haves”, especially when things are difficult, we find that life itself gives us reason to be grateful. Spread the gratitude around. Whether a “host” or a “guest”, a little gratitude goes along way.

For me, I am just grateful that I am able to write to you, my dear friends and supporters.

Kiran